So I watched this movie tonight with my parents out of curiosity. When I did a search on Nic Tse a while back, I found out about the existence of this movie and was intrigued 'cause it was based off of Xi You Ji/Saiyuki. Anyway, this is the most crack-filled movie I've seen in QUITE a while. Imagine Saiyuki mixed with Star Wars and The Matrix and you might get an IDEA of what the movie was like. Poke me for more details if you're really curious. It was freakin' ridiculous. And don't forget that this is a LOVE story between the monk (Sanzo) and a demon/angel/alien (I'm not quite sure what she was). All in all, crazy movie that's good for a laugh but nothing more.


Alright, let's see if I can describe this crazy movie accurately.

Sanzo and company reached the West and got the scriptures. Just when they were celebrating, some weird bug/bat demon thingy and his army attacks 'cause they want Sanzo meat. Goku fights them but loses. In the end, he ties Sanzo to Nyoi-bou (you know, Goku's stick) and sends the monk flying. Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai are then captured by the massive army.

Sanzo and stick lands outside the lair of some demons. They assume that Sanzo is Goku from Nyoi-bou and leave him alone to be taken care of by this really ugly she-demon. Weird things happen, massive army finds Sanzo, demons fight demons and this weird egg thing with a person/alien inside gets tossed into the sky. Yeah, I said the movie was crack-filled. Sanzo and ugly she-demon somehow get away. Oh, and I forgot to mention that Nyoi-bou does tricks if you say "I'll love you for 10,000 years" and stops doing shit if you say "I don't love you" to it. By this time, the demon is already in love with Sanzo.

The next part's kinda blurry. Sanzo and demon somehow wind up near the sea and this turtle-demon-thingy asks that Sanzo return Nyoi-bou since it came from the Dragon King in the first place. Sanzo starts speaking nonsence, confuses the turtle and somehow got him to commit suicide. It was kinda funny, actually. The Dragon King then appears and asks Sanzo why he killed his turtle. The demon girl activates Nyoi-bou and they somehow end up in the middle of a river next. The stick is in the shape of a canoe by this point.

The next part's pure crack. The stick turns into a plane/space ship and flies into space. They step through the Southern Gate or something like that and wind up in this other dimension. Four gods or something like gods come to talk to Sanzo, accuse him of killing people and they all somehow start fighting. Activated Nyoi-bou kicks the crap out of the four gods. Sanzo and demon girl escape.

Blah blah blah, some wandering, attempted suicide, random crying, etc. They eventually run into a band of demons and Sanzo does his whole "Make love, not war" speech on them. Then an army of heavenly soldiers show up, pissed off 'cause Sanzo killed four gods. The demons "love" them instead of fighting and then I got confused. In the end, it seemed like Sanzo killed a buttload of people but they were all pretending. Afterwards, Sanzo asks the demons to help him become like a demon himself. I was so totally lost here.

Sanzo stays with the group of demons, doing weird training and stuff. He wants to eventually rescue Goku and the rest and the demon girl's supposedly helping. The group of demons think that they're gonna get to eat Sanzo meat in like two weeks. Somewhere, in all of this, Sanzo finds that egg-thingy that got blasted in the sky earlier and the person/alien inside crawls out. I also need to mention that Sanzo is wearing a Spider-Man costume at the time. Yes, Spider-Man. The alien talks about stuff, does something with a device around her wrist and then a huge alien space ship comes down from the sky. The space ship kinda splits into littler ships and some land. Alien people with laser guns come out. The demons try to fight but get their asses handed to them on a platter.

So, the alien chick that crawled out of the egg's apparently the princess of the alien race. She reveals herself and the alien army stop beating the shit out of the demons. The demons say that the ugly demon chick tricked them into everything and how they would get Sanzo meat. Sanzo overhears this, feels betrayed, says mean things to demon chick, takes Nyoi-bou and leaves. Demon chick's mom comes, tells her that she's not her real mother, gives her an alien-looking box (which was apparently found with the chick) and leaves. The demon chick's depressed by this point, opens the box, glowy things happen and she transforms into this pretty lady all dressed in white.

Now here's the fun part. The chick sprouts angel wings and flies off. SOMEHOW, Sanzo is inside an ancient city that's being attacked by the massive bug army from the beginning of the movie. The aliens are for SOME REASON defending the city and fighting off the bug army. However, despite advanced alien technology, they can't penetrate into the bug army's base and rescue Goku and the others. The angel/demon chick flies in, rescues Sanzo from certain death, takes Nyoi-bou and flies off again to rescue Goku and rest ALL BY HERSELF.

By this time, she's transformed into some sort of super soldier. Think Power Rangers mixed with Sailor Moon with wings. She just mows down the bug demons and enter the base. The aliens fired a bomb which she caught and carried into the base. She gets there, transforms Nyoi-bou into what is basically a mecha (or one of those gun machines from the end of Matrix Revolutions) and is shooting bugs left and right. She frees Goku and the others, blows up the base (with her still in it) and then flies off later, completely unharmed.

Believe it or not, the movie's NOT OVER YET. The angel/demon/Power Ranger chick talks to the alien princess and then the aliens leave. The demon chick's pissed off at Sanzo and leaves him. Sanzo and his disciples continue their journey home. Heaven, though, is stilled pissed that Sanzo apparently killed four gods. The demon chick apparently went up to the heaven and confessed to all the sins, and is sentenced to die. Sanzo, and just Sanzo, fights his way into Heaven and beats everyone in his path with Nyoi-bou. The Jade Emperor, however, beats Sanzo pretty much to death. Goku somehow sneaks up on the Jade Emperor and threatens him with a knife. Everyone backs off Sanzo at this point. There's some lovey-dovey moment between Sanzo and the alien chick as Sanzo crawls, half-dead, towards her to say he loves her. Then Buddha shows up and talks to Sanzo and the demon chick. At the very end, Sanzo's fine and the chick's been transformed into a white horse.

Now tell me, is that not a fucked up movie?